Spacer ['spatser]

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A Fictional Film Festival
for Fictional Films

5/68

Spacer ['spatser]

Spacer [‘spatser] is a very unknown local film festival. Rumors go that it is a personal invite only type of event, as well as being this unofficial tryout. Happening in the space of gallery 4 somewhere in the middle of the right side of the kabk or maybe somewhere else. The date is set, and even though it remains not public yet, some people say it is happening in the end of May. It is believed that spacer is going to be about films, spaces and food. Or food, spaces and films. Or spaces, films, food… Nobody knows, and people’s opinions differ for some reason. But you might find out yourself one day perhaps.

Plate back side Plate front side Menu

Village Party

Ivo Blackwood
House on a plate

In this drama, we find ourselves in a small village in rural southern middle-class England with a tight-knit group of residents. Jake1, 19, who’s family runs a farm, deals ketamine, known to his parents but never properly addressed apart from the odd passive-aggressive comment; Marie2, 19, is gay, and hasn’t told her orthodox Christian parents; Martin3, 52, a well-paid and hard- working solicitor, has begun to resent his wife after her early retirement and recent purchase of a badly behaved Border Collie; Stanley, the GP, 41, refused to see Immy, now 20, about her mental illness in her early teenage years, dismissing it as an ‘overreaction’ to bullying; Luke, 244, and Noah, 255, brothers, are both in love with the blacksmith’s daughter, but neither of themknow of the other’s affectation; Tony, 546, a retired stately home owner, poisoned the local river whilst trying to get his lawn more green and hasn’t told anyone. At a village Christmas party, the local blacksmith, Hannah, falls off the roof and dies leading everything to slowly unfold. It all takes place within one house.7 The film is cast entirely with newcomers: Thomas Hardiman, Zelia Jacob, Graham Willis, Tommaso Fisher, Asha Sims, Felix Graham, Isaac Rampton, Will Kirkman and Ruby McLeod play Jake, Marie, Martin, Stanley, Immy, Luke, Noah, Tony, and Hannah, respectively. 8

1.Reddish. 2.Kohlrabi. 3.Green asparagus. 4.Yellow beetroot. 5.Red beetroot. 6.Spruitjes. 7.Smoked tomatoes and squid ink sauce. 8.Served with chives on top.

village party dish

Kebab's Palace

Suzie Veldhuijzen
kebab on a plate

Owner of the Kebab Palace became an alcoholic. His store is going broke and he starts to have nothing left in his life. He is in his store drinking waiting for a possible customer to come in. At 3 in the morning he stumbles out of his store and starts walking home. On his way home he gets robbed. but because of the alcohol the man can’t control himself and starts a fight1 with the robbers. He hits one so hard he falls to the ground, the other two run away.The still drunk and full of adrenaline store owner falls to the ground. And looks at the very quiet man laying2 next to him. No way. He can’t be dead right. Out of stress he drags him into his store. After this intense night the owner falls asleep. The next day he wakes up to his one employee shaking him awake. He looks at him. He looks frightened. He looks next to him. There was the man that tried to rob him last night. He is still very quiet and turned a little gray. He is dead.3 They look at each other in disbelief. What should they do? They are in this together now. After a lot of big discussions they decide to cut up the body and put it on the kebab skewer. And they heat it up. At 23:00 they first drunk college kids walk in.They order the kabab. And they love it. They go around all night and tell everybody about the amazing kabab they had. All night people come in (also the other guys that tried to rob him last night). The next week was one of the busiest in months.The two first don’t know4 what to do, they are making good money and they don’t want to go broke again. So they start going on a murder spree. (about having to do something inhuman because of popularity and money and how that eventually totally explodes) The police are looking for this unknown murderer without a motive. (they also visit the kebab palace very often) The kebab5 place is getting more popular day by day. Eventually the news gets out and then the people know that they ate their neighbor. (just police cars and press in front of store for the ending)

1. Bone marrow, fermented rhubarb paste. 2.Orange foam. 3.Chili toast. 4.Rosemary. 5.Lamb neck.

village party dish

Jan Kalata

Stanisław Zieliński
kebab on a plate

It is the beginning of summer 2007. The 91-year-old man lives alone in a hut in southern Poland1. Jan Kalata spends his days on a bench in front of the house. He observes the street, houses and meadows2. One morning, a neighbour brings him his shopping and an envelope with his pension by bicycle. They sit down on a bench and talk about the weather forecast for the coming days, the holiday season starting. An off-road car is driving down the road, three young men, they are looking for the road, the GPS navigation wanders, finally they pull up to Jan Kalata’s house, slowing down they pull over and ask for directions. A family of tourists on a walk engage in a brief conversation about plots of land.3 The man silently watches a herd of cows4 being led across the street. The man performs simple household chores. During a rainy day, he watches the street while sitting in the window. He stretches a wire over a fence. He taps on the gable wall of his house with a long stick. One oof his neighbour brings him eggs, Jan cannot seem to recognise him at first but after a while he invites him to join him on the bench. They talk about the news. Jan mentions what he listened to on a radio. Jan tells some stories from the time of World War II. His neighbour complains about the children living abroad. A foreign tourist stops by to say hi, in polish Jan shows him who took over his cows around 12 years ago. He invites a teenager onto the bench and talks about the trees they see. The monologue is being is interupted with images of trees In different seasons and weather conditions. Jan is mumbling. The girl tries to listen but she finds it hard. An ambulance and a priest’s car are parked in front of Jan Kalata’s house.5 Leaning against the car are neighbours talking about the land. A team of workmen is dismantling the house.6 A neighbour with a herd of cows walks across the empty, unploughed plot of land where Jan Kalata’s house stood, thanks to a new opportunity to shorten the road.

1.Fermented white asparagus. 2.Honey. 3.Carrots. 4.Capers. 5.Pea sauce. 6.Macadamia nuts.

village party dish

Cube

Maya Curé
kebab on a plate

The movie “Cube”1 is a slow, meditative exploration of the process of entropy2, as seen through the lens of a series of cubes slowly collapsing in on themselves. Over the course of several hours, the viewer is treated to a hypnotic and seemingly endless stream of cubes falling, crumbling,3 and disintegrating into dust. There are no characters, no plot, and no dialogue - only the endless cycle of collapse and decay4.

1. Sorbet out of. 2.Canteloupe melon. 3.Blueberry cookies. 4.Orange foam.

village party dish

A Fictional Film Festival
for Fictional Films